You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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