I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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