we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He passed out mid-signature
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
