I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
