im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
