I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
