i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
