I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i was born a porn star she said
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
