Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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