No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize