i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
