let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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