never play flip cup with pint glasses
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
