After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize