Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize