I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
