your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
