Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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