Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
