Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
