I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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