..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
