this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize