I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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