Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
