I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
