My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
