its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
