I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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