I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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