I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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