laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
