Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
