This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
