You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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