At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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