The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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