Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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