dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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