i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize