something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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