do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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