Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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