he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
