I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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