You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
