Im at strip club and am horny
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize