ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
