I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
