My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
