ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize