It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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