im drinking this country out of the recession.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
