Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
