He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
