Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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