At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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