just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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