he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize