So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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