He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
