like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
