a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
