i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
