This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
