Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
